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It has not been a very easy road the past couple of months. School, work and everything in between just doesn't seem to hang in our favour sometimes. I think about the person who I used to be and how all these things would totally demolish me. I could never be able to bear some of the things that of happened recently. I believe that last Friday my hope, my faith, my strength returned to me. Somehow, I feel more confident than ever, but at the same time nervous. There is always alot of pressure to do things and do them right. I usually have very little error to screw things up. But shit does happen, and we must learn to be quick and adapt to the situation.
I try and make everything work out, and because I human, I screw up. Sometimes I screw up even though my first thought was that I am doing the right thing. And when I cannot make things work out, I take the blame for it - I begin to believe that I am not capable, or that I cannot preform when the task is at hand or even worse...that I am useless. But we must live and learn. And God knows how much I have learnt. I know what it is to presist. I know what it is like to keep going when just saying 'fuck it' is so much easier. And I know what is it like to conquer your fears and doubt and completely destroy them even if it kills you. I love that feeling. The feeling that you accomplished something that very few people (sometimes even yourself) believed you could do. And once it is over, you look back and you realize that it wasn't that hard because the obstacles in front of you just get bigger. You feel the strength inside you. You feel like you are on top of the world. Maybe, just even for a momemt, you are beating life at its own game. Yes, it is temporary....but it does exist...It is up to us on how we play the game.
"A person is able to become truly strong when they wish to protect someone that they cherish."
I try and make everything work out, and because I human, I screw up. Sometimes I screw up even though my first thought was that I am doing the right thing. And when I cannot make things work out, I take the blame for it - I begin to believe that I am not capable, or that I cannot preform when the task is at hand or even worse...that I am useless. But we must live and learn. And God knows how much I have learnt. I know what it is to presist. I know what it is like to keep going when just saying 'fuck it' is so much easier. And I know what is it like to conquer your fears and doubt and completely destroy them even if it kills you. I love that feeling. The feeling that you accomplished something that very few people (sometimes even yourself) believed you could do. And once it is over, you look back and you realize that it wasn't that hard because the obstacles in front of you just get bigger. You feel the strength inside you. You feel like you are on top of the world. Maybe, just even for a momemt, you are beating life at its own game. Yes, it is temporary....but it does exist...It is up to us on how we play the game.
"A person is able to become truly strong when they wish to protect someone that they cherish."
nervous
sick
ecstatic
drained
content